2008 Dem & Rep National Convention Schedule of Events

**Alex**

Whatever side you're on, these are both pretty funny!
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2008 Republican National Convention Schedule of Events

6:00 PM Opening Prayer, led by the Rev. James Dobson
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting your kid a military deferment
7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for dinner
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children (by the way has anyone seen Mark Foley?)
8:30 PM Roundtable discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: the government of the future
9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "I Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: the real cause of forest fires
9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
10:00 PM Second prayer, led by Cal Thomas
10:15 PM Lecture by Karl Rove: Doublespeak made easy
10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration: How to squint and talk macho
10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark deer-in-headlights stare
10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory Kevlar chastity belt
10:45:00 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black Republicans
10:45:25 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
10:50 PM Seminar #3: Education: a drain on our nation's economy
11:10 PM Dick Cheney brought out to shoot a protester
11:20 PM Second John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: the dangerous new cult
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
11:35 PM How to pick up a man in an airport, Larry Craig
11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies and reads My Pet Goat in celebration of 9/11
11:50 PM Closing Prayer, led by Ted Haggart right after he says "I'm not gay anymore."
12:00 AM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

2008 Democratic National Convention Schedule of Events

7:00 pm OPENING FLAG BURNING
7:15 pm PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE TO THE U.N.>
7:20 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST >
7:25 pm NONRELIGIOUS PRAYER AND WORSHIP -
Jesse Jackson & Al Sharpton
7:45 pm CEREMONIAL TREE HUGGING - Darryl Hannah
7:55 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
8:00 pm HOW I INVENTED THE INTERNET - Al Gore
8:15 pm GAY WEDDING PLANNING - Rosie O'Donnell
8:35 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
8:40 pm OUR TROOPS ARE WAR CRIMINALS - John Kerry
9.00 pm MEMORIAL SERVICE FOR SADDAM AND HIS SONS -
Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon
10:00 pm ANSWERING MACHINE ETIQUETTE - Alec Baldwin
11:00 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
11:05 pm COLLECTION FOR THE OSAMA BIN LADEN KIDNEY
TRANSPLANT FUND - Barbara Streisand
11:15 pm FREE THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS FROM
GUANTANAMO BAY - Sean Penn
11:30 pm OVAL OFFICE AFFAIRS -
William Jefferson Clinton
11:45 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
11:50 pm HOW GEORGE BUSH BROUGHT DOWN
THE WORLD TRADE TOWERS - Howard Dean
12:15 am TRUTH IN BROADCASTING AWARD -
Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore
12:25 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
12:30 am SATELLITE ADDRESS - Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
12:45 am NOMINATION OF HILARY RODHAM CLINTON -
Nancy Pelosi
1:00 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
1:05 am CORONATION OF HILARY RODHAM CLINTON
1:30 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
1:35 am Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home
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Marie · Joined: 04 Feb 2008 Posts: 15 Location: Tallinn

What is beer bong mean? I don't think I understand these so much. Razz

**Alex** · Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 6:30 pm Post subject: